GROWTH Archives – JS CREATIVE

Looking Inward: The Art of Self-Reflection and Its Benefits

Life can be a total whirlwind, right? Between all the stuff you gotta do, the expectations, and the never-ending to-do lists, have you ever just wanted a moment to hit pause, take a breath, and really connect with yourself? Well, guess what? You’re not alone in that feeling!

In this super fast world we live in, it’s so easy to get caught up in all the noise around us. We’re always chasing more achievements, more likes, more success. But let me tell you something, my awesome friends: real happiness isn’t in all that outside stuff. It’s deep within us.

And that’s where self-reflection comes in – it’s like having a heart-to-heart chat with your own soul. It helps you discover your dreams, your fears, your strengths – all that good stuff!

Why is self-reflection so cool?

Let me break it down for you:

Getting Clarity: Life can get seriously chaotic, but self-reflection gives us this amazing gift called clarity. When you take time to understand your thoughts, feelings, and values, you’ll get to know the real you. You’ll figure out what you’re passionate about, your purpose, and where you wanna go in life.
Boosting Self-Awareness: Self-reflection acts like a mirror. It shows us our actions, choices, and habits. It helps us see what’s holding us back and what’s pushing us forward. With better self-awareness, you can make choices that match your values and make you a better you.
Mindfulness Magic: Self-reflection and mindfulness go together like peanut butter and jelly. When you take time to look within, you become aware of the present moment. You start appreciating the little things, finding joy in simple stuff, and feeling grateful every day.
Becoming Stronger: Life throws curve-balls, but self-reflection helps us hit them out of the park! When things get tough, you tap into your inner strength. You learn from past experiences and get the courage to tackle obstacles head-on.
Self-Love Boost: We’re all so busy, right? But self-reflection reminds us that self-care is important. It tells us to take a breather, show ourselves some love, and do things that make us happy.
Connecting for Real: As you explore yourself, you’ll attract cool people who dig the real you. Self-reflection makes your relationships deeper. You connect on a whole new level, without pretending to be someone you’re not.

Ways to Dive Into Self-Reflection

Journaling: Grab a notebook and let your thoughts flow. Write about your dreams, challenges, and the things you’re grateful for. Let your feelings spill onto the pages – it’s like magic!
Meditation: Take a few minutes each day to chill out. Focus on your breath, let your thoughts float by, and find calm in the middle of the craziness.
Solo Adventures: Treat yourself! Explore a park, check out an art gallery, or hang at a cozy café. Enjoy your own company and have fun!
Deep Talks with Friends: Have heart-to-heart chats with pals who get the self-reflection thing. Share your journey, your thoughts, and your discoveries. You’ll build a supportive squad that’s all about growth.

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So, my fellow explorer, embrace the quiet moments, listen to your heart, and let your true self shine. Remember, the best love story you’ll ever have is the one you create with yourself. You got this!

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The Difference Between a Fixed vs. Growth Mindset

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Have you ever wondered about the difference between people who seem to always be jumping to the next challenge, constantly trying something new, doing amazing things with their lives, and those who seem kind of stuck?

There’s one key difference at the heart of it, and that’s mindset. One of these groups has a fixed mindset and the other has a growth mindset.

People with a fixed mindset think, “Well, it is how it is and I can’t change it, so why bother trying?” They are less likely to try new things, less likely to push out of their comfort zones, and honestly, a lot of the time, they are less fun to be around! Every new idea is met with resistance and they love to complain about how things are but don’t want to try and make them better.

On the other hand, you have people with a growth mindset. This group of people views challenges as opportunities to grow. They might not know how to do something, but they are willing to put themselves out there and try, even when it’s hard or uncomfortable. This group thinks of themselves as lifelong learners.

Have you ever seen a news story about a seventy or eighty-year-old going back to college and graduating with a bunch of twenty-one year-olds? Those young-at-heart graduates have a growth mindset. They wanted to learn something new or they wanted to be able to say they finally got their diploma, so they went out there and did it!

It’s never too late to try something new. It’s never too late to adjust your mindset.

If you aren’t sure whether you have a growth or fixed mindset, use a few minutes to answer the three questions below. Getting out a pen and paper and writing down your answers is the best way to do this—you might be surprised at what comes out when you start writing.

Do I feel resistance to answering these questions? If so, this may be a sign of a fixed mindset.
What patterns do I have when I encounter challenging things? (For example: do you immediately start researching how to tackle a new challenge or do you try and avoid things you don’t know how to do?)
When was the last time I tried something new? If you can’t remember, it’s time to make some changes!

And, you don’t have to start with something huge like going back to school. Want to learn something new? Start small—pick up a library book, download a podcast, or check your local community center to see if there is a class available.

Keep taking those tiny steps, and before long you’ll have discovered the secret of a growth mindset—small steps can add up to big changes!

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Help! I’m Afraid of Failure, But I Want an Exciting Life!

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You’ve got all the ideas, but instead of getting out there and putting them into action, you are stuck at your nine-to-five job that pays the bills. You spend your days dreaming about what life could be like—if only you weren’t terrified of failing. If this is you, I’ve got good news: having an exciting life doesn’t mean you have to quit your job, sell all your stuff, and pack up to start travelling the world today. A few small steps can move your daily daydream out of the dream world and into reality.

First: make a dream list. If you could do anything in the world, what would it be? Don’t think about practicality here, just write down all the ideas that come to mind. Have you always wanted to be an artist? A Rockette? A scuba diver? No idea is too crazy to write down—this is a dream list, so let yourself dream big. Don’t worry about constraints like money, time, or responsibilities. Just write down everything that sounds interesting to you.

Hold onto your list for a week or two. Read through your list a few different times. Set aside thirty minutes dedicated to daydreaming or journaling about your list. Once you’ve spent some time thinking about these dreams, identify the one thing that keeps floating to the surface, an idea you just can’t get out of your mind.

Next, talk through that idea. Coaching would be a great place to do this. You could also ask a supportive friend to meet you for coffee to talk this over—or even have a coffee date with yourself and your journal. However you choose to do it, answer the following four questions:

What is the thing I really want?
What am I most scared of?
What’s the worst thing that can happen?
What’s a small change I can make to turn that dream into a reality?

Here are two examples of what answering these questions might look like:

I want to be an artist. I’m terrified my friends will laugh at me and I won’t be any good. The worst thing that can happen is I find out I’m not great—but I could take art classes to get better. If my friends laugh, maybe they weren’t that great of friends to begin with. I can’t quit my job today to pursue art full time, but I can take a class at the community center or buy some watercolors and find a YouTube tutorial.
I always wanted to be a Rockette. That’s the thing I dreamed of as a little girl. I really love to dance, but I gave it up because I was scared I would never be good enough to “make it.” Now I’m well past the window where I could have auditioned and given it a shot… but that doesn’t mean I can’t dance anymore. What if I signed up for a dance class at a local studio? It’s been twenty years since my last class and I’m out of shape. I don’t know if I’d be able to keep up. But… I could probably find a low-key class with other people who just want to dance for fun. Maybe it would help me get back in shape, maybe I’d meet a few friends. If I hate it, I don’t have to go back. And no, I wouldn’t be able to go audition for the Rockettes—but maybe I could audition for a local theater performance if I really want to be on stage.

Once you’ve answered these questions, pick one step to take towards your dream. Write it down with a deadline or ask a friend to hold you accountable. Then celebrate when you buy the watercolors or sign up for the dance class. You are making progress on having a more exciting life!

Finally, work on flipping your mindset. You can learn from failure. It doesn’t mean you’ll never be able to achieve your dream—it just means you have more work to do. Failure is part of the journey. The more you fail, the better you’ll get at it, and the easier it will be to pick yourself up and keep moving.

Keep your list—once you’ve made a little progress on the first item, you might be ready to start working towards another!

An exciting life means spending time on the things you love. Taking those first steps towards your dreams can make you see everything else in your life in a new light—no packing or plane tickets required.

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Is Your Personality Permanent?

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It has long been believed that our personality does not change. But what if that isn’t true?

I love personality quizzes. I find it absolutely fascinating to see the uniqueness to each person’s individual makeup, and to hear about how their experiences have helped to shape who they are.

I recently read a book called, “Personality Isn’t Permanent” by Benjamin Hardy. In it, the author claimed that researchers are coming to see that personality is not, in fact, permanent, and that we can shape who we become through intentional choices and behaviors.

Now, I’ve always said that no one personality quiz is ever going to be able to 100% accurately describe who you are.

What I know to be true, however, is that, by taking a handful of these quizzes and then looking for the patterns among your results, you are able to get a pretty clear picture of who you are — or, at least, who you are right now.

► Don’t believe me? Check out my self-coaching guidebook, “P ersonality“, and test this for yourself!

I have discovered, throughout my years of inquiry and self-study, that our personality can shift and change. And my belief is that the trigger for this is our own personal growth (our environment probably plays a part, as well). Allow me to explain.

When I was younger, my personality tests would say I was a mix of INFP (Myers-Briggs) and Enneagram 9 (Had the Sparketest been around then, it might have said my primary type was Maker and my secondary was Maven).

Between 2011 and now, however, I have done a lot of personal growth work. And my quiz results now say that I am an INFJ (Myers-Briggs), and an Enneagram 5-wing-4. My Sparketypes are Maven & Advisor.

Truth be told, this change makes sense to me.

Growing up, my siblings and I lived with my mom, who is an Enneagram 9 (the peacekeeper). I also lived a very “sheltered” upbringing, and didn’t get a lot of exposure to elements of the world at large. I existed in a sort of “bubble” that consisted of family, friends, and acquaintances who all basically believed the same things, attended the same church & schools, and spoke and thought alike. As such, I feel that I displayed the personality that fit my surroundings and that I saw exemplified by my mom.

From my twenties and onward, however, I broke out of that “echo chamber”. I began to question what I’d been taught and what I believed, and I started developing my own unique perspective on the world. I also was exposed to new environments (eg. workplaces, the online sphere, entrepreneurship, etc.). And, throughout that process, I believe my personality began to shift, as well.

But here’s the interesting thing: I am starting to wonder if perhaps it isn’t so much that our personality changes. What if, more so, we aren’t getting an accurate picture of our true personality in the first place? What if, as we learn and grow over time, and as we gain more exposure to parts of the world around us, we simply become more of who we were meant to be, at our core?

The reason for my questions is that I believe God created us to be who He intended us to be. And yet, one of the goals of this life on earth is to grow… to become. So, if both of these things are true, wouldn’t it stand to reason that we only become more of who we actually are?

It would certainly make sense of why we can see a shift in a lot of our behaviors, but why certain aspects of how we behave never seem to change.

This is my theory, anyway.

What are YOUR thoughts on this? I’d love to discuss the topic with you in the comments!

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Personality Quizzes: Why I’m A Fan

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I’ve long had a fascination with personality types, and I’ve taken most of the quizzes that are available. . . Myers-Briggs (MBTI), the Enneagram, DISC, StrengthsFinder, those silly BuzzFeed ones, etc. Like most people, I’m drawn to these quizzes because they give me the words that help me describe who I am, and how I interact with the world around me.

Yet, I know that these quizzes can seem like unnecessary “fluff” to some people, and there is a lot of controversy around the legitimacy of a few of them.

I don’t write this post to try and argue about whether or not these quizzes are all that accurate.

I did, however, want to share why I use them as the foundation of the work I do with my clients.

First, I know — and like to reiterate to those who work with me — that no one test will ever be 100% spot-on in describing someone. We are each as unique as our fingerprints, so these tests cannot tell us exactly who we are.

Second, I may have my clients take these tests to get their results, but that’s as far as it goes. I am not teaching anything about these quizzes (I am not a trained facilitator for any of them), nor do I dive deep into the meanings of this or that quiz result.

Third, my personal experience with personality quizzes is that, if you take enough of them, you begin to see patterns emerge. And this, right here, is exactly why my clients go through a handful of quizzes, right at the beginning of our work together!

By seeing the “bigger picture” of how you act and respond, plus your underlying motivations, we are then better able to piece together what kind of work is going to best align with who you are.

And, when you align what you do with who you are at your core, I believe you are much more likely to find consistency, clarity, meaning, and fulfillment in your day-to-day life, and you’ll know how you can serve the world in your own unique way.

Basically, you uncover your personal brand — your “special sauce”, so-to-speak.

Now, I have worked with clients in the past who really didn’t care for personality quizzes, and thought they were silly or pointless. Still, they humored me and took the tests anyway… and they ended up shocked because the results so closely depicted the way they saw themselves!

And again, I’ve gotten so much clarity and self-awareness through taking various quizzes, that I am convinced that they are a fantastic place to start.

One side note: I have also had someone take the Enneagram quiz, and then feel like God was warning her to stay away from digging any further into it. I would never want someone to go against what the Lord has told them, so I respected this gal’s wishes, and we left it alone.

However, as I mentioned previously, I’m not going to be delving into all of the meanings and uses behind these quizzes. My clients simply take the tests to get their results, and then I look it all over and use this information to help them craft a strategy and plan for the kind of work they can pursue in order to feel aligned and alive, going forward.

If you have any questions, I’d be happy to discuss them with you — drop me a comment below, or send me a message! And, if you would like to go through this self-discovery process, you can do so through my Unique Blueprint self-coaching guide.

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Spiraling Up or Spiraling Down?

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Why do you need personal development? Why bother chasing after growth? Well, here are a few thoughts.

If we aren’t growing, we are remaining stagnant. Those who refuse to grow have a limited way of thinking. They become bitter and angry, and feel like the world is out to get them. They alienate the people around them, and end up pushing people away via their attitude. This just confirms their theory about the world being out to get them, and that it’s trying to make them miserable.

However, when we grow, we are renewing our mind, thinking about bigger and better possibilities, and strengthening our belief in what’s possible. And when we believe that better is possible, we act to make changes that confirm those beliefs. This, then, cycles back around and strengthens our belief that better is possible.

So, are you spiraling up, or spiraling down?

Positive change starts with the belief that change is possible (otherwise known as a “growth mindset“)* — that things can get better, and that — in whatever way, no matter how small — we can affect some of that change!

. . . . .
*This post contains affiliate links. Please see my Disclaimer for more information.

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Enjoy The Journey

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One of the things I’ve been learning, lately, is that we never truly “arrive”. Once we hit a goal, there is always another to take its place.

I used to be so focused on the outcomes — the desired end result (tbh, I still struggle with this). But it would often lead to frustration, either because that outcome always seemed too far out of reach, or because I would reach it and then not feel as exuberant as I’d expected to feel.

One of my favorite articles, by James Clear, talks about letting go of our focus on goals (aka “outcomes”), and instead, focusing on systems — in other words, the small action steps you need to take, day-by-day, to achieve those goals or outcomes.

The benefits include: (1) mastering the skills you need, in order to excel; (2) not being overwhelmed by the big end goal you’re aiming for; and (3) making incremental progress toward that desired outcome.

The Japanese call these small, continuous improvements “Kaizen” (read more about that concept here).*

Think about it this way:

If you’ve ever had a goal to lose over thirty pounds, you know that thinking about trying to get to that end goal (outcome) seems so far out of reach. It can be so overwhelming, in fact, that you think to yourself, “I’ll never get there. What’s the point of even trying?“

What if you, instead, focused on the day-to-day actions you needed to take that would still — eventually — take you to that goal? For example, eating half of what you normally would at mealtimes, or making sure to move intentionally for at least thirty minutes a day. Now you’re just focused on today. And, isn’t that a lot more manageable, mentally?

Let’s look at another example:

Say you have an online business, and you need to fill up your email list (get leads), and start generating sales. Maybe your goal is to get 600 new email subscribers, because you know those people are more likely to buy from you. Yet, looking at that number (600 subscribers) seems daunting!

So, what are the daily actions you can take that will help you grow your list?

Maybe it’s reaching out to a handful of new people through social media, each day, and building relationships. Maybe you create content that attracts your ideal people to you. The more you do these small things, the more momentum you will build, and the more people you’ll find signing up for your list. Before you know it, you’ve surpassed that original goal of 600 new subscribers!

When we focus on the outcomes, we get overwhelmed and deflated.

But if we focus on the daily steps we can take to make progress, we are much more likely to enjoy the journey.

. . . . .
*This post contains affiliate links. Please see my Disclaimer page for more information.

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Knowing Which Way to Go

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I was so tired of jumping from one thing to another. I’d get going in a direction that felt so perfect for me, and I’d be really excited, thinking I’d finally found my “thing” . . . only to lose interest, again, a few months (sometimes weeks) into it.

I was always starting over. And it was exhausting.

Thankfully, I came across a handful of things that helped me get some stability — to be clear on what does and does not work for me, and that helped me to figure out which way to go.

Here are a few of those things:

1 | JOURNALING

I’ve kept a diary, or journal, since I was around 10 years old. And, while it started as a simple log of what I did each day, it has now morphed into a way for me to sort out my thoughts.

I know a lot of people are intimidated by the idea of journaling. But there’s really no right or wrong way to do it. Just grab a pen and notebook (or, an app — whatever you prefer), and start jotting down what’s going on, how you feel about it, and any ideas you’ve got for how to proceed. Over time, it will become more natural.

The benefits are huge, though. I’ve had so many “aha” moments from reading back through old entries, or just from pouring out my thoughts and being able to make sense of what’s been tangled up inside my head.

2 | CURIOSITY (or, a willingness to learn)

Because I am always exploring new ideas, and reading to learn new perspectives & new ways to do things, I’ve stumbled across some amazingly helpful books and articles.

Two such things I read gave me a huge “aha”! They both said that we don’t have just one thing we’re meant to do with our lives — that our “purpose” will shift and change along with the different seasons of our lives. Maybe in one “season”, mother hood is your purpose. And then, in another, perhaps entrepreneurship becomes your purpose. (And, even within those things, it could get even more nuanced — like biological children & adoption; or “working” as a blogger/affiliate, and coaching).

It was such a relief, though, to know that I wouldn’t have to box myself into one path for the rest of my career! It made all the difference!

3 | COACHING

I’d heard, over and over, that you should invest in yourself by hiring a coach. The experts all say that it’s the way you scale up. But, when you’re broke, that seems impossible.

The good news is, it’s not impossible. I kept searching and praying, as I was desperate for the accountability, and I was eager to learn. And eventually, God led me to find someone I could partner with in a bartering situation — I helped her, and she gave me coaching in exchange.

And, oh goodness! I have come so far since beginning to work with my coach! My progress excelled at lightning-speed, and I got so much clarity! It really does help to have someone you can bounce your ideas off of, who will ask you clarifying questions and who’ll challenge you to go beyond what you think are your limits. I truly thank God for my coach!

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Now, thanks to this combination of journaling, curiosity, and coaching, I feel confident in my path forward. I still have certain kinks I’m working out, of course. But overall, I’m much more grounded, and I know what will or will not align with where I intend to go.

Check out my self-coaching guides to help you get started!

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How to Decide Which Path to Pursue

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So many people have a ton of great ideas — they just have no idea which of these they should pursue, and they are terrified of getting it “wrong” — of choosing the “wrong” thing.

There are, however, ways to move forward, and feel confident in your decision. Here are 3 tips to help you choose…

1 | THERE IS NO WRONG CHOICE

Sure, whatever you choose may or may not be a right fit for you. But, you had to make that choice in order to make that discovery. It’s a lesson, so learn it and then move on to the next thing. Know that you can always make another choice … you are never stuck.

2 | YOU MUST TAKE ACTION

Just going over and over the options inside of your head will never do you any good. It only serves to make you frustrated, and leaves you going around in circles (speaking from experience!). The only way to truly know if something will or will not work for you is to get out of your head, and do something with your options.

Maybe you try this new job or path for a while (an internship, perhaps?). Or, maybe you talk to someone already working in that line of work about what it’s really like, day-to-day. You could even try shadowing someone at their job, for a time, to get a feel for the type of work and its environment.

But again, you must get out of your head if you want to truly find your answer.

3 | MAKE TWO LISTS

Several years ago, when I was stuck in a job that I hated, I got out a piece of paper and made two lists: Jobs I’d Loved & Jobs I’d Hated (really, it was more like lists of tasks at each of my previous jobs that I’d either enjoyed or couldn’t stand). I listed out everything I could think of, whether these jobs had been paid, or volunteer, or even just odd jobs done for family members. Some of the items on my lists included:

Loved: lots of sunlight | freedom to make decisions | no strict dress code | able to generate ideas.

Hated: micromanaging boss | confined to a single spot all day | uniforms | being on-call.

Having these two lists, and the awareness these gave me, helped my next job to be so much better! It was near-perfect for me (as far as 9-to-5’s go). I had a ton of autonomy, didn’t have to get dressed up, was never called to cover a shift, and my boss was pretty cool!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Really, the main point to remember is that you can always make a different choice. Heck, what I went to school for isn’t even close to what I now do for a living! But it took a lot of trial and error to figure out my true path. Nevertheless, I’ve found it and can now confidently reassure you that you, too, will eventually find your way.

LEAVE A COMMENT and tell me three of the options you are currently considering. I’d love to hear about what interests you!

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Fighting Through the Rough Days

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I almost gave up. I was so frustrated, & so exhausted. I wasn’t sure that any of this was worth it.

But there’s a fight inside me that was desperate to hold on . . . desperate to find a way.

So, I sought help.

I didn’t have the means to hire anyone. Yet, thankfully, there are people out there who offer free calls. Oh, how I’m grateful to those people!

Sure, I couldn’t hire them. And maybe some of them thought I was wasting their time.

However, just being able to talk through things with someone else was enough — every time — to give me back my hope, and help me get clear enough to keep pushing forward.

Having someone else speak words of support & encouragement; someone to highlight things I hadn’t seen or thought of before; someone who’d been through the struggle & could simply say, “I get it. This isn’t easy. But you can do this.”

. . . it was the light in my darkness.

I wouldn’t be where I am, today, without those people. The value of others’ support cannot be underestimated.

Where do YOU find that hope & support?

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