Have you ever wondered about the difference between people who seem to always be jumping to the next challenge, constantly trying something new, doing amazing things with their lives, and those who seem kind of stuck?
There’s one key difference at the heart of it, and that’s mindset. One of these groups has a fixed mindset and the other has a growth mindset.
People with a fixed mindsetthink, “Well, it is how it is and I can’t change it, so why bother trying?” They are less likely to try new things, less likely to push out of their comfort zones, and honestly, a lot of the time, they are less fun to be around! Every new idea is met with resistance and they love to complain about how things are but don’t want to try and make them better.
On the other hand, you have people with a growth mindset. This group of people views challenges as opportunities to grow. They might not know how to do something, but they are willing to put themselves out there and try, even when it’s hard or uncomfortable. This group thinks of themselves as lifelong learners.
Have you ever seen a news story about a seventy or eighty-year-old going back to college and graduating with a bunch of twenty-one year-olds? Those young-at-heart graduates have a growth mindset. They wanted to learn something new or they wanted to be able to say they finally got their diploma, so they went out there and did it!
It’s never too late to try something new. It’s never too late to adjust your mindset.
If you aren’t sure whether you have a growth or fixed mindset, use a few minutes to answer the three questions below. Getting out a pen and paper and writing down your answers is the best way to do this—you might be surprised at what comes out when you start writing.
Do I feel resistance to answering these questions? If so, this may be a sign of a fixed mindset.
What patterns do I have when I encounter challenging things? (For example: do you immediately start researching how to tackle a new challenge or do you try and avoid things you don’t know how to do?)
When was the last time I tried something new? If you can’t remember, it’s time to make some changes!
And, you don’t have to start with something huge like going back to school. Want to learn something new? Start small—pick up a library book, download a podcast, or check your local community center to see if there is a class available.
Keep taking those tiny steps, and before long you’ll have discovered the secret of a growth mindset—small steps can add up to big changes!
As a multi-passionate creative, it can be really hard to stay consistent. All of the entrepreneurial (or, marketing) “gurus” will tell you that you must be consistent, or you will lose your audience’s attention. (Heck, I can’t even keep hold of my own attention! LOL — Squirrel!)
But, here’s the thing. . .
Once you understand who you are at your core, and what makes you come alive — once you know what does and does not work for you — consistency becomes so much easier. You begin to see ways you can work with your tendencies, instead of trying to fight against them in some wild attempt to conform to the “shoulds”.
As an example . . .
Not long ago, I discovered that the thread that ties everything I love together is GROWTH. I used to think it was “freedom”, or maybe “possibility”. But, now I’m clear (and Growthactually encompasses both freedom & possibility!).
Knowing that “Growth” is my overarching theme, I’m now able to understand what does and does not fit with this, and it enables me to make decisions about my work far more easily. It’s like my North Star.
Recently, when –once again– thinking about changing up my content, I had an “aha”. I realized that my own topics will forever be shifting and changing, because I am constantly in the process of learning new things, and upgrading my mindset and knowledge. This –in essence– is what GROWTH is . . . forever evolving.
So, instead of fighting it in the name of “consistency”, I’m now relieved to see that I am still being consistent by remaining true to my overarching theme of growth… even if my content under that umbrella may shift and change, as I go along.
Now, how can you find that same freedom to work with your tendencies instead of against them? Here are 3 simple steps to get started:
01. LIST ALL THE THINGS YOU LOVE
These don’t have to be all work-related. If you love it, write it down. Write down things you’re currently into, and things you used to be enthralled by. Everything goes on this list.
02. REVIEW IT AND LOOK FOR COMMONALITIES
Once you’re done making your list, look it over and see if you find any patterns or commonalities. For example, maybe you love freedom, and possibilities, and personal development, and personality types, like me. In that case, you might say “growth” is a commonality between it all.
03. KEEP DIGGING UNTIL IT FEELS RIGHT
It may take some time, or a few tries, to figure out your own “North Star”. Like I said, my own switched up a couple of times before I found the one that best fit who I really am.
And, if you need help, I’m here to walk you through this discovery process. My Unique Blueprint self-coaching guide does just that, so feel free to have a look.
Why do you need personal development? Why bother chasing after growth? Well, here are a few thoughts.
If we aren’t growing, we are remaining stagnant. Those who refuse to grow have a limited way of thinking. They become bitter and angry, and feel like the world is out to get them. They alienate the people around them, and end up pushing people away via their attitude. This just confirms their theory about the world being out to get them, and that it’s trying to make them miserable.
However, when we grow, we are renewing our mind, thinking about bigger and better possibilities, and strengthening our belief in what’s possible. And when we believe that better is possible, we act to make changes that confirm those beliefs. This, then, cycles back around and strengthens our belief that better is possible.
So, are you spiraling up, or spiraling down?
Positive change starts with the belief that change is possible (otherwise known as a “growth mindset“)* — that things can get better, and that — in whatever way, no matter how small — we can affect some of that change!
. . . . . *This post contains affiliate links. Please see my Disclaimer for more information.
When is the last time you tried to change a habit? How did you do? Were you successful?
A lot of people do okay for a little while, but then things come up, and they find themselves reverting back to their old ways.
In the past, you might have been told, and/or believed that you just needed some stronger willpower. Nowadays, however, it’s coming to light that that’s maybe not the case.
Instead, a better method is to find your “why”.
Your why is the soul-deep reason behind the changes you’re wanting to make.
In her book, “F.I.T: 10 Steps to Your Faith Inspired Transformation“, Kim Dolan Leto recommends that your “why” be rooted in one of three areas: relational, medical, or spiritual. The reason for this is that these are areas most closely tied to our core values. As such, our why— our reason for wanting to change — will be super-strong, and will have its roots deep enough to keep us motivated and moving forward, even when life tries to throw us curve balls, and derail our plans.
To give you an example, my own “why” is two-fold: spiritual and medical. First, I want to be able to live life to the fullest, and I can’t do that if I’m unable to get my butt off the couch. Second, I’m tired of feeling like a “victim” in my life, and am aiming to build up my strength, physically. I started with going to the gym. Now, I’m turning my focus to eating better, and to continuing my strength-training from home.
Life has definitely tried to mess with my plans, several times in the past year. But remembering my reasons for making these changes has helped me to continue. Thinking of my “why” re-lights that deep, inner fire to change my life for the better.
So, give some thought to this. See if you can find a soul-deep reason for the changes that you want to make. Make sure that this reason really touches something at the core of you, as then it will be deeply-rooted, and nothing will be able to stop you from reaching your goals.
Today I’m sharing a snippet from my eBook. This is from the chapter on the importance of thoughts and mindset.
For years, I’ve struggled with low self-esteem. I could blame it on my parents’ divorce, or any number of things. But that wouldn’t change my situation. If anything, dwelling on blame, resentment, and/or any other negatives only adds to the problem.
What I have been coming to discover, recently, is that so much of life depends on our thoughts and our mindset. In pretty much every area of life, how you look at things determines how they are. It’s very much about perspective. Even the Bible agrees! Proverbs 23:7 {KJV} says, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” And, Philippians 4:8 encourages us: “…whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise—dwell on these things.”
God frequently reminds us, throughout Scripture, to PAY ATTENTION… to keep alert, and to be aware. The reason for this is because we are in a constant war — not physically, but mentally and spiritually; good vs. evil; our flesh against our spirit.
Joyce Meyer tells us that our mind is the battlefield — our battles are won or lost there. Think about any temptation you’ve faced. If you kept thinking about the thing, eventually you would give in, right? But, if you don’t allow yourself to dwell on thoughts of the thing — if you dismiss these tempting thoughts right away — then you are able to stand strong and resist.
Nowhere has this been more evident to me than in my eating and my attempts to lose weight. The more I think about eating when I’m not hungry, the weaker I get. Eventually, I have made enough excuses and rationalizations in my mind that I end up giving in.
However, on the (still rare) occasions when I dismiss the tempting thoughts outright, and distract myself with other things, I find myself victorious, and moving forward!
Taking control of our thought life, then, is so extremely important! It’s a cliché now, since it is said so much, but it remains true:
YOU NEED TO CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE!
Something that has been helpful to me in becoming more aware of my thoughts has been to write out the negative things I think, and then — directly beneath the negatives — write out the positive alternatives. Psychologists call this exercise “reframing”. So, for example:
Negative: I cannot lose this excess weight. Positive: I am taking baby steps toward losing my excess weight, and getting healthy
Negative: I am so stupid when it comes to this! Positive: How can I go about learning more about this so that I feel more confident and capable?
It is important to remember that Satan will do anything and everything he can to “kill, steal, and destroy” what is good and positive in our lives. He is intent on keeping us stuck in the mediocre and mundane, so he puts negative thoughts in our minds to keep us from living in the Truth. He knows that if we get control of our thoughts, he’s going to have an awfully hard time making us miserable from that point on.
Another great way to change your mindset is to “reframe” with Scripture. Logan Wolfram, in her book, “Curious Faith”, calls this “Praying the Opposites”.
Say you’re feeling discouraged. The opposite of this would be feeling hopeful. So you would then look up verses in the Bible that talk about hope, and you’d use those verses to pray to God, asking for Him to “renew your mind” according to what His Word says.
You can do this with the negatives you are thinking about yourself, as well! For example:
Negative: I cannot do this! Positive: Philippians 4:13 says that “I can do ALL THINGS through Christ, who strengthens me!”
Negative: I will never be able to pay my bills this month. Positive: Philippians 4:19 tells me that “My God will supply all of {my} needs, according to His riches…”
So, don’t let the devil win! Take control of your thought life, and pray for a renewed mindset. It’s the only way to walk in victory.
WHAT NEGATIVE THOUGHTS DO YOU BATTLE WITH THAT YOU CAN TURN INTO POSITIVES? HOW WOULD YOU REFRAME THEM?
Just 30 minutes a day. That’s all it takes. Influencers like Jim Rohn & Tony Robbins will tell you the same thing.
So, 30 minutes of what?
A LITTLE BACKGROUND
Growing up, I was extremely insecure and timid. I felt unliked and unimportant, and had a very “glass half-empty” outlook on life.
Everything in life seemed to be against me. I was always waiting for that other shoe to drop, so-to-speak.
And yet…
My mom had always encouraged my siblings and I to read. She took us to the bookstore & bought us books. And, we often saw her, Dad –and even Grandma– reading.
When I was pregnant with my first child, I was unable to work, due to an injury, so I spent a lot of time reading. And, over the next ten years, as a stay-at-home-mom, I ended up reading more and more, as a way to pass the time.
In 2005, however, things started to shift. Instead of constantly reading fiction, I was now seeking out more and more nonfiction — at that time, mainly health & fitness books. Next, I was reading more Christian Living. Then, books on business, and success, and entrepreneurship, and personal development. Until, one day, I realized that I hardly read fiction at all, any more!
A SHIFT…
Ever since I began reading more nonfiction, there has been a shift in my life. I am no longer negative and seeing life as “out to get me”. I don’t blame others, or circumstances, for how my life is turning out but, instead, I accept responsibility for the choices I’ve made that have lead me to this point.
I’ve begun to submerge myself in positive messages, and to surround myself with people and words that lift me up and give me hope.
I now look at life very optimistically (despite less-than-ideal circumstances), and have an “anything is possible!”mindset.
What changed?
THE KEY
I honestly have to credit the books I read, plus the YouTube videos, and various pages I follow on Facebook that keep me constantly immersed in positive messages. And, obviously, I can’t go without giving credit to God, because I also prayed and asked Him to renew my mindset. He is faithful. ♥
In Network Marketing, we were encouraged to do at least thirty minutes of personal development each day.
Personal Development: the conscious pursuit of personal growth by expanding self-awareness and knowledge, and improving personal skills.
I believe this is for several reasons:
IT CHANGES YOUR PERSPECTIVE
Like I’ve mentioned, I went from being very negative and woe-is-me, to having a completely shifted view, or outlook, on life. I am now an optimist!
IT SHOWS YOU WHAT IS POSSIBLE
Before I started to read about others’ lives, and how they went from difficult starts to raving success, I had only my own circumstances (and that of those around me) to look to for an example of what might be possible. Since no one in my circle was all that influential, my expectations were pretty limited.
However, in reading these others’ success stories, I began to see how “small” I’d been thinking, and my ideas for what I could achieve began to expand.
IT FORCES YOU TO LEVEL UP
When you surround yourself with those who are optimistic, positive, and driven — even if it’s only by following these people via social media, and/or reading their books, or watching their videos — you can’t help but be inspired to think differently. And, when you think differently, you then act differently.
You can continue to “play small”, but it won’t feel right. You will have an inner restlessness, drawing you towards becoming more, because you’ve now seen that more is possible!
IT CHANGES WHO YOU SURROUND YOURSELF WITH
When you begin to shift your mindset away from the negative, towards a more optimistic view, you’ll find it really hard to continue to spend any great amount of time with those who are still stuck in that negative thinking. As such, you will begin to seek out, and spend time with (again, perhaps only virtually), others who think positively, and are actively working on themselves and their lives.
IT PUSHES YOU TO PURSUE A BETTER LIFE
When you know better, you can do better. When you know more, you want more.
No longer will you be content to settle for what’s ordinary or expected. Instead, you will believe there’s so much more that is possible, and you will actively pursue that for your life.
And, not only will you want more for yourself, but you will also want to pass it on… to tell others, “Hey! You’ve got to try this!” (just like I’m doing with this post!)
When you’ve experienced something that changes your life in such a big way, you can’t help but tell others about it!
WHAT’S NEXT?
Let me strongly encourage you to give this a try. Like I said, all it takes is just thirty minutes a day, and you will start to notice a shift in your life. If you’re not big on reading, try listening to audio books (my friend, Sarah, never liked to read… but, after she got into network marketing, she decided to listen to books on CD… and from there, she started buying & actually reading physical books!).
You can also watch videos on YouTube, listen to podcasts, watch webinars… there are a lot of options.
And, if you don’t feel you can fit in 30 minutes all at once, try starting with just 10 minutes per day. Then, work your way up to 20 minutes… and, again, work your way up, from there, to 30 minutes. The more you do it, the easier it gets.
