As a creative and free-spirit, I’ve always found it really difficult to do entrepreneurship the way the experts (or “gurus”) say you should do them. I’ve learned from them, of course, and I’ve tried to implement a lot of what I’ve learned. But eventually I feel restless, and need to shake things up.
And, I’m learning an important lesson — that it’s better to find what works for you, than to try to pattern your business off of what everyone else says is “right”.
You are unique. So, what works for others may or may not work for you. There is no one-size-fits-all plan for self-employment.
Sure, there are “best practices”. And I do believe it’s important to still learn what those things are. But, you then need to go through a trial-and-error process in order to really know whether or not these practices will work for you and your business.
So many people, I believe, are scared to venture off into doing things their own way. What if it doesn’t work? Will you not succeed if you don’t follow the “rules”? Won’t people fail to take me seriously?
I’ve been there and had those doubts, so I get it.
The truth is that you are less likely to succeed — at least, in the long-term — if you try to be something you’re not. You will always feel unfulfilled, maybe restless, and you will probably face burnout.
Whereas, by truly allowing yourself to release the shoulds and step into what feels right for you, things will flow much more easily, and you’ll be more likely to love what you get to do with your days.
So, go ahead, free-spirit! Let yourself be free to do what works for you!
It can be so difficult to fully be yourself — especially when this world is constantly trying to shape us into something we’re not.
Yet, just because something is difficult, doesn’t mean it’s impossible. It simply means we need to be more intentional … more aware.
I recently had the realization that, for far too long, I’ve allowed myself to be dragged along by the “shoulds” — I “should” do this, or be that, if I want to have a “successful” business.
And in the process, I forgot who I am.
Thanks to nudges from the Spirit, I’ve been reminded of the real me, and I’m working at bringing her out of hiding.
For example, instead of being so tightly wound and trying to control everything around me, I’m releasing my grip and surrendering to the flow. Instead of being driven by others’ “shoulds“, I’m asking myself what works best for me.
I truly believe — at my core — that we can be successful (more so!) by being fully ourselves . . . doing what works for us, as individuals, rather than copying others, or conforming to some societal standard.
What works for someone else isn’t necessarily going to work for you.
And this is why it’s so vital that you understand yourself fully. After all, how can you decide what does or doesn’t work for you if you don’t even know yourself?
So, where do you even start?
I started getting to know myself through a mix of personality quizzes (Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, etc.)*, journaling for reflection, and asking God to show me who He created me to be.
*[Note regarding personality quizzes: No one test is ever going to be completely, 100% accurate in describing you, as we are all unique. However, I still find it extremely valuable to take a handful of these tests, as it helps you start to see patterns, and realize what really is true of you].
All in all, don’t let society drown out the real you. Stay alert to its influence, and get to know all of the facets of what makes you, you, and then be intentional about remaining true to yourself.
As a multi-passionate creative, it can be really hard to stay consistent. All of the entrepreneurial (or, marketing) “gurus” will tell you that you must be consistent, or you will lose your audience’s attention. (Heck, I can’t even keep hold of my own attention! LOL — Squirrel!)
But, here’s the thing. . .
Once you understand who you are at your core, and what makes you come alive — once you know what does and does not work for you — consistency becomes so much easier. You begin to see ways you can work with your tendencies, instead of trying to fight against them in some wild attempt to conform to the “shoulds”.
As an example . . .
Not long ago, I discovered that the thread that ties everything I love together is GROWTH. I used to think it was “freedom”, or maybe “possibility”. But, now I’m clear (and Growthactually encompasses both freedom & possibility!).
Knowing that “Growth” is my overarching theme, I’m now able to understand what does and does not fit with this, and it enables me to make decisions about my work far more easily. It’s like my North Star.
Recently, when –once again– thinking about changing up my content, I had an “aha”. I realized that my own topics will forever be shifting and changing, because I am constantly in the process of learning new things, and upgrading my mindset and knowledge. This –in essence– is what GROWTH is . . . forever evolving.
So, instead of fighting it in the name of “consistency”, I’m now relieved to see that I am still being consistent by remaining true to my overarching theme of growth… even if my content under that umbrella may shift and change, as I go along.
Now, how can you find that same freedom to work with your tendencies instead of against them? Here are 3 simple steps to get started:
01. LIST ALL THE THINGS YOU LOVE
These don’t have to be all work-related. If you love it, write it down. Write down things you’re currently into, and things you used to be enthralled by. Everything goes on this list.
02. REVIEW IT AND LOOK FOR COMMONALITIES
Once you’re done making your list, look it over and see if you find any patterns or commonalities. For example, maybe you love freedom, and possibilities, and personal development, and personality types, like me. In that case, you might say “growth” is a commonality between it all.
03. KEEP DIGGING UNTIL IT FEELS RIGHT
It may take some time, or a few tries, to figure out your own “North Star”. Like I said, my own switched up a couple of times before I found the one that best fit who I really am.
And, if you need help, I’m here to walk you through this discovery process. My Unique Blueprint self-coaching guide does just that, so feel free to have a look.
I’m not your typical Christian gal. I don’t do the whole pushy, shove-it-down-your-throat stuff, or flaunt my faith piously for all to see. In fact, I’ve been dubbed “backslidden” and “far from God” because I don’t fit into the mold.
For example, here are a handful of things that set me apart:
I will go to bars
I like to drink alcohol (though, I don’t drink a lot)
I like Bohemian/Gypsy-style clothing
I don’t attend church
I follow my intuition (aka: Holy Spirit)
I don’t spew “Christian-ese” at people, or try to convert sinners
I read books like The Da Vinci Code, Harry Potter, Twilight, and even –gasp!– Rob Bell’s books
I love the Enneagram
I believe it’s okay –good, even!– to have doubts, and to question things
I was not (and still am not) a fan of Donald Trump
I refuse to watch Fox News
However, lest you think I’m a complete heretic . . .
I do not agree with homosexuality (though, I’m willing to befriend those who live this lifestyle)
I am against abortion (in other words, I am pro-Life)
I believe the Bible is God’s living & active Word
I don’t find it necessary to curse (swear)
I will not ‘hide’ my faith in order to seek approval, or be “accepted”
I do still avoid certain content, people, and situations, in order to guard my heart and mind (Prov. 4:23)
If you had a scale, with the far-left/Liberals on one end, and the far-right/Fundamentalists (& Evangelicals) on the other end, I’d say I fall somewhere just slightly to the right of centre.
I like to think of myself as a free-spirit or nonconformist Christian (heck, even a Christian rebel!). 😛
A lot of mainstream Christians and I do not see eye-to-eye on a lot of things, and I’m okay with that. (I do so wish, however, that more of them were open-minded enough to have healthy discussions with me, rather than jumping to conclusions, or judging me right out of the gate!). Sigh.
DECONSTRUCTING FAITH
Recently, I read an article that talked about “deconstructing faith”. I found this really interesting, especially since it’s quite similar to the process I went through, myself, quite a number of years ago (and am, perhaps, still going through).
Academics have dubbed it ‘theological deconstruction’, but in simple terms, they’re referring to what happens when a person asks questions that lead to the careful dismantling of their previous beliefs. Some talk about a “mid-faith crisis”, where deeply held doctrines are re-examined and sometimes jettisoned in favour of more progressive ideas. Many continue to self-identify as Christian throughout this time, others take on another label which they say carries less baggage, such as ‘follower of Jesus’.
Sam Hailes, Premier Christianity
The dilemma for those experiencing a shift in their faith is often figuring out which of their beliefs are true and good, and which are false and harmful… This period of questioning can be painful and often isolating, as Christians are sometimes afraid to voice their doubts or admit to a change of theology.
Sam Hailes, Premier Christianity
The problem comes when people “deconstruct” their faith through questioning, but then fail to “reconstruct” it, afterwards. This is where you find a lot of the ex-Evangelicals, and those who’ve renounced faith all together. And it breaks my heart.
My sincere hope, in writing this post, is to find other free-spirit Christians, like myself, who don’t fit into the box (and don’t care to, either!)… those who are followers of Jesus, and hold to the inerrancy of Scripture, but who strongly believe that Jesus came to set us free — not to burden us under a list of “thou-shalt-not’s“. (Leave me a comment, if that’s you!)
I’ve long had a fascination with personality types, and I’ve taken most of the quizzes that are available. . . Myers-Briggs (MBTI), the Enneagram, DISC, StrengthsFinder, those silly BuzzFeed ones, etc. Like most people, I’m drawn to these quizzes because they give me the words that help me describe who I am, and how I interact with the world around me.
Yet, I know that these quizzes can seem like unnecessary “fluff” to some people, and there is a lot of controversy around the legitimacy of a few of them.
I don’t write this post to try and argue about whether or not these quizzes are all that accurate.
I did, however, want to share why I use them as the foundation of the work I do with my clients.
First, I know — and like to reiterate to those who work with me — that no one test will ever be 100% spot-on in describing someone. We are each as unique as our fingerprints, so these tests cannot tell us exactly who we are.
Second, I may have my clients take these tests to get their results, but that’s as far as it goes. I am not teaching anything about these quizzes (I am not a trained facilitator for any of them), nor do I dive deep into the meanings of this or that quiz result.
Third, my personal experience with personality quizzes is that, if you take enough of them, you begin to see patterns emerge. And this, right here, is exactly why my clients go through a handful of quizzes, right at the beginning of our work together!
By seeing the “bigger picture” of how you act and respond, plus your underlying motivations, we are then better able to piece together what kind of work is going to best align with who you are.
And, when you align what you do with who you are at your core, I believe you are much more likely to find consistency, clarity, meaning, and fulfillment in your day-to-day life, and you’ll know how you can serve the world in your own unique way.
Basically, you uncover your personal brand — your “special sauce”, so-to-speak.
Now, I have worked with clients in the past who really didn’t care for personality quizzes, and thought they were silly or pointless. Still, they humored me and took the tests anyway… and they ended up shocked because the results so closely depicted the way they saw themselves!
And again, I’ve gotten so much clarity and self-awareness through taking various quizzes, that I am convinced that they are a fantastic place to start.
One side note: I have also had someone take the Enneagram quiz, and then feel like God was warning her to stay away from digging any further into it. I would never want someone to go against what the Lord has told them, so I respected this gal’s wishes, and we left it alone.
However, as I mentioned previously, I’m not going to be delving into all of the meanings and uses behind these quizzes. My clients simply take the tests to get their results, and then I look it all over and use this information to help them craft a strategy and plan for the kind of work they can pursue in order to feel aligned and alive, going forward.
If you have any questions, I’d be happy to discuss them with you — drop me a comment below, or send me a message! And, if you would like to go through this self-discovery process, you can do so through my Unique Blueprint self-coaching guide.
Why do you need personal development? Why bother chasing after growth? Well, here are a few thoughts.
If we aren’t growing, we are remaining stagnant. Those who refuse to grow have a limited way of thinking. They become bitter and angry, and feel like the world is out to get them. They alienate the people around them, and end up pushing people away via their attitude. This just confirms their theory about the world being out to get them, and that it’s trying to make them miserable.
However, when we grow, we are renewing our mind, thinking about bigger and better possibilities, and strengthening our belief in what’s possible. And when we believe that better is possible, we act to make changes that confirm those beliefs. This, then, cycles back around and strengthens our belief that better is possible.
So, are you spiraling up, or spiraling down?
Positive change starts with the belief that change is possible (otherwise known as a “growth mindset“)* — that things can get better, and that — in whatever way, no matter how small — we can affect some of that change!
. . . . . *This post contains affiliate links. Please see my Disclaimer for more information.
One of the things I’ve been learning, lately, is that we never truly “arrive”. Once we hit a goal, there is always another to take its place.
I used to be so focused on the outcomes — the desired end result (tbh, I still struggle with this). But it would often lead to frustration, either because that outcome always seemed too far out of reach, or because I would reach it and then not feel as exuberant as I’d expected to feel.
One of my favorite articles, by James Clear, talks about letting go of our focus on goals (aka “outcomes”), and instead, focusing on systems — in other words, the small action steps you need to take, day-by-day, to achieve those goals or outcomes.
The benefits include: (1) mastering the skills you need, in order to excel; (2) not being overwhelmed by the big end goal you’re aiming for; and (3) making incremental progress toward that desired outcome.
If you’ve ever had a goal to lose over thirty pounds, you know that thinking about trying to get to that end goal (outcome) seems so far out of reach. It can be so overwhelming, in fact, that you think to yourself, “I’ll never get there. What’s the point of even trying?“
What if you, instead, focused on the day-to-day actions you needed to take that would still — eventually — take you to that goal? For example, eating half of what you normally would at mealtimes, or making sure to move intentionally for at least thirty minutes a day. Now you’re just focused on today. And, isn’t that a lot more manageable, mentally?
Let’s look at another example:
Say you have an online business, and you need to fill up your email list (get leads), and start generating sales. Maybe your goal is to get 600 new email subscribers, because you know those people are more likely to buy from you. Yet, looking at that number (600 subscribers) seems daunting!
So, what are the daily actions you can take that will help you grow your list?
Maybe it’s reaching out to a handful of new people through social media, each day, and building relationships. Maybe you create content that attracts your ideal people to you. The more you do these small things, the more momentum you will build, and the more people you’ll find signing up for your list. Before you know it, you’ve surpassed that original goal of 600 new subscribers!
When we focus on the outcomes, we get overwhelmed and deflated.
But if we focus on the daily steps we can take to make progress, we are much more likely to enjoy the journey.
. . . . . *This post contains affiliate links. Please see my Disclaimer page for more information.
I was so tired of jumping from one thing to another. I’d get going in a direction that felt so perfect for me, and I’d be really excited, thinking I’d finally found my “thing” . . . only to lose interest, again, a few months (sometimes weeks) into it.
I was always starting over. And it was exhausting.
Thankfully, I came across a handful of things that helped me get some stability — to be clear on what does and does not work for me, and that helped me to figure out which way to go.
Here are a few of those things:
1 | JOURNALING
I’ve kept a diary, or journal, since I was around 10 years old. And, while it started as a simple log of what I did each day, it has now morphed into a way for me to sort out my thoughts.
I know a lot of people are intimidated by the idea of journaling. But there’s really no right or wrong way to do it. Just grab a pen and notebook (or, an app — whatever you prefer), and start jotting down what’s going on, how you feel about it, and any ideas you’ve got for how to proceed. Over time, it will become more natural.
The benefits are huge, though. I’ve had so many “aha” moments from reading back through old entries, or just from pouring out my thoughts and being able to make sense of what’s been tangled up inside my head.
2 | CURIOSITY (or, a willingness to learn)
Because I am always exploring new ideas, and reading to learn new perspectives & new ways to do things, I’ve stumbled across some amazingly helpful books and articles.
Two such things I read gave me a huge “aha”! They both said that we don’t have just one thing we’re meant to do with our lives — that our “purpose” will shift and change along with the different seasons of our lives. Maybe in one “season”, mother hood is your purpose. And then, in another, perhaps entrepreneurship becomes your purpose. (And, even within those things, it could get even more nuanced — like biological children & adoption; or “working” as a blogger/affiliate, and coaching).
It was such a relief, though, to know that I wouldn’t have to box myself into one path for the rest of my career! It made all the difference!
3 | COACHING
I’d heard, over and over, that you should invest in yourself by hiring a coach. The experts all say that it’s the way you scale up. But, when you’re broke, that seems impossible.
The good news is, it’s not impossible. I kept searching and praying, as I was desperate for the accountability, and I was eager to learn. And eventually, God led me to find someone I could partner with in a bartering situation — I helped her, and she gave me coaching in exchange.
And, oh goodness! I have come so far since beginning to work with my coach! My progress excelled at lightning-speed, and I got so much clarity! It really does help to have someone you can bounce your ideas off of, who will ask you clarifying questions and who’ll challenge you to go beyond what you think are your limits. I truly thank God for my coach!
. . . . . . . . . . . .
Now, thanks to this combination of journaling, curiosity, and coaching, I feel confident in my path forward. I still have certain kinks I’m working out, of course. But overall, I’m much more grounded, and I know what will or will not align with where I intend to go.
So many people have a ton of great ideas — they just have no idea which of these they should pursue, and they are terrified of getting it “wrong” — of choosing the “wrong” thing.
There are, however, ways to move forward, and feel confident in your decision. Here are 3 tips to help you choose…
1 | THERE IS NO WRONG CHOICE
Sure, whatever you choose may or may not be a right fit for you. But, you had to make that choice in order to make that discovery. It’s a lesson, so learn it and then move on to the next thing. Know that you can always make another choice … you are never stuck.
2 | YOU MUST TAKE ACTION
Just going over and over the options inside of your head will never do you any good. It only serves to make you frustrated, and leaves you going around in circles (speaking from experience!). The only way to truly know if something will or will not work for you is to get out of your head, and do something with your options.
Maybe you try this new job or path for a while (an internship, perhaps?). Or, maybe you talk to someone already working in that line of work about what it’s really like, day-to-day. You could even try shadowing someone at their job, for a time, to get a feel for the type of work and its environment.
But again, you must get out of your head if you want to truly find your answer.
3 | MAKE TWO LISTS
Several years ago, when I was stuck in a job that I hated, I got out a piece of paper and made two lists: Jobs I’d Loved & Jobs I’d Hated (really, it was more like lists of tasks at each of my previous jobs that I’d either enjoyed or couldn’t stand). I listed out everything I could think of, whether these jobs had been paid, or volunteer, or even just odd jobs done for family members. Some of the items on my lists included:
Loved: lots of sunlight | freedom to make decisions | no strict dress code | able to generate ideas.
Hated: micromanaging boss | confined to a single spot all day | uniforms | being on-call.
Having these two lists, and the awareness these gave me, helped my next job to be so much better! It was near-perfect for me (as far as 9-to-5’s go). I had a ton of autonomy, didn’t have to get dressed up, was never called to cover a shift, and my boss was pretty cool!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Really, the main point to remember is that you can always make a different choice. Heck, what I went to school for isn’t even close to what I now do for a living! But it took a lot of trial and error to figure out my true path. Nevertheless, I’ve found it and can now confidently reassure you that you, too, will eventually find your way.
LEAVE A COMMENT and tell me three of the options you are currently considering. I’d love to hear about what interests you!
When you first start out in business for yourself, it’s so exciting to get everything set up. You choose a name for your company, you set up your website and social media platforms, you pick out a color scheme, and you decide what you’re going to offer to your audience. Best of all, you’re finally escaping the 9-to-5 grind… or, you’re starting on the path towards that. It’s only a matter of time.
After a couple of months of being “open”, and doing promotion and other things you’re supposed to do as a self-employed business owner, you start to get discouraged because, for all of your efforts, you’re mostly hearing crickets… maybe you got a little bit of interest, but it’s been nowhere near the fanfare (or income) that you’d expected.
What’s the deal? Are you just not cut out for this whole entrepreneurship thing? Are you just not trying hard enough?
Here’s a hint: Go back and re-read the first paragraph of this post, and notice the word that appears (in two versions), over and over throughout. Did you catch it?
That’s the problem. It’s been all about you. In actuality, “your” business is supposed to be all about …them.
Who are they?
“They” are your audience and potential customers. Without them, you’ll never have a business, but only have a hobby. Because, they are the ones who are supposed to be paying for your offerings.
Doesn’t it make sense, then, that it should be all about them?
So, let’s come at this from this new perspective. Let’s go back to the beginning and put this together with our audience in the spotlight.
START WITH WHY
In this book (and TED talk), “Start With Why“, Simon Sinek talks about how the most successful brands (eg. Apple, Inc.) don’t start with what they offer, but instead, why they’re offering it. The reason for this is because we, as consumers, shop first based on our emotional response — and then we justify our decisions with logic. It therefore makes sense to start by thinking about why you’re offering this particular product or service, and why your audience needs it. Also, why did you decide to get into this particular business?
WHO
Next, you’re going to need to think about who needs what you’ve got to offer. Whose problem aligns with why you feel compelled to be an entrepreneur?
After all, that’s what business is all about — solving the problems others have, and getting paid to do so. It’s an exchange of value.
The tricky part, here, is finding a balance between who has a problem you can solve, but also who fits the profile of someone you’d most like to work with, or serve.
Depending on your business model, this second bit may or may not matter. For example, if you’re opening a retail store, perhaps the customer’s personality type isn’t going to matter; whereas, if you’re offering a service like coaching others on-on-one (or, even in a group setting), it’s going to matter a great deal whether or not you and your customer get along!
This topic needs far more depth than I have the space to go into, in this post, so I’ll do another post about it at a later date (or, you can dig into this more through my self-coaching guides).
HOW
Simon Sinek also says that “customers don’t buy what you do; they buy why and how“.
So, the next question you need to ask yourself is this: How will my product or service help my audience get what they want? How will it solve their most pressing problem?
Notice that you’re not yet touching on what the customer needs. They may not even know, yet, what they truly need. All they do know is that they have this problem, and they want relief… they want it solved.
So, answer the question they’re really asking, which is, “what’s in it for me?” How can you (your product/service) solve their problem?
WHAT
Finally, you’ll need to come up with what you can offer that answers all of the above questions. To recap:
Why are you offering this, and why does your audience need it?
Who needs what you’ve got to offer?
How does it benefit them? (What’s in it for them?)
There are other questions you’ll need to answer, of course (like how you’ll offer these solutions, what you’ll charge, etc).
The key, though, is to always keep your customer at the forefront of your mind in everything you do throughout “your” business.
. . . . . . . . .
How has this post opened your eyes to changes you could make in your business set-up or thinking? Let me know in the comments.
