It can be so difficult to fully be yourself — especially when this world is constantly trying to shape us into something we’re not.
Yet, just because something is difficult, doesn’t mean it’s impossible. It simply means we need to be more intentional … more aware.
I recently had the realization that, for far too long, I’ve allowed myself to be dragged along by the “shoulds” — I “should” do this, or be that, if I want to have a “successful” business.
And in the process, I forgot who I am.
Thanks to nudges from the Spirit, I’ve been reminded of the real me, and I’m working at bringing her out of hiding.
For example, instead of being so tightly wound and trying to control everything around me, I’m releasing my grip and surrendering to the flow. Instead of being driven by others’ “shoulds“, I’m asking myself what works best for me.
I truly believe — at my core — that we can be successful (more so!) by being fully ourselves . . . doing what works for us, as individuals, rather than copying others, or conforming to some societal standard.
What works for someone else isn’t necessarily going to work for you.
And this is why it’s so vital that you understand yourself fully. After all, how can you decide what does or doesn’t work for you if you don’t even know yourself?
So, where do you even start?
I started getting to know myself through a mix of personality quizzes (Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, etc.)*, journaling for reflection, and asking God to show me who He created me to be.
*[Note regarding personality quizzes: No one test is ever going to be completely, 100% accurate in describing you, as we are all unique. However, I still find it extremely valuable to take a handful of these tests, as it helps you start to see patterns, and realize what really is true of you].
All in all, don’t let society drown out the real you. Stay alert to its influence, and get to know all of the facets of what makes you, you, and then be intentional about remaining true to yourself.
Do you know what you really want from life? I don’t just mean materially. I mean, do you know what you are working towards? Or, are you drifting through life, letting circumstances take you where they will?
Do you know that you have a choice in the matter?
It can be really frustrating to feel aimless and out of control. I think a lot of us tend to forget that we can choose our path.
Wouldn’t you rather know where you’d like to go, and then have a plan for getting there? I know I would.
Of course, this obviously doesn’t mean you can’t adjust things as you go along. Life is unpredictable, so we have to adjust, really. We have to remain flexible. And, feelings and preferences change over time, as well. So, where you end up may not be what you hope for, right now, in this season of life.
And yet, it is still worth creating a plan and being intentional about your direction in life. It helps you to feel more in control, and to find more fulfillment. Instead of drifting, now you are living with purpose to your days.
For myself, I would like to reach the following goals in my life:
Shrink down to a healthier weight
Live a more active and healthy lifestyle
Earn enough money from self-employment to live financially secure
Make an impact on others’ lives through my work
Buy property & have my dream-house built (the one I designed, myself)
Continue to grow, both spiritually and professionally
Having this list, and knowing what I would really love to accomplish, helps me to know what steps I need to take in order to achieve those goals.
For example, in my health pursuits, I already know –from trial & error– that intuitive eating is the best method for me. But, in addition to that, I’ve also come to realize that my dependence on processed foods is no longer working for me (if it ever did!), because I am developing more and more health issues. I’m beginning to see how much truth there is in what they say about your body needing nutrients, not just calories (in other words, our choice of food matters, even more than how often or how much we eat).
I was super excited, recently, to find a blog called, “Hello, Nutritarian!“, which is based off of the principles found in Dr. Joel Fuhrman’s books (“Eat to Live; “The End of Dieting“).* This blog provides recipes and guidance on how to eat a cleaner, more whole-foods based diet. And that’s just what I know I need.
Also in regards to my health, I came across a gal, last week, who was once where I am at (size 18, currently), but who went on to win a figure competition (which is not something I am aiming for!), and to maintain a completely transformed lifestyle. She is now active every day, eating healthy/clean, and she’s changing others’ lives by paying-it-forward as a healthy living coach (same company I was with).
This gal’s total life transformation really inspires me — especially since I’m currently at the same weight she started at. If she can do it, I know that I can achieve similar things. It takes a decision —that I am no longer willing to put up with my poor health habits– and making a full commitment to myself and to the better life that I know is possible!
The great thing about all of these health goals, for me, is that I am in a position to help others change their lives, just by being an example for them to follow. By committing to a healthier lifestyle for myself, I have a chance to allow others to watch me and to see that they, too, can have the success they seek (you can, as well!). We are all in it together!
I believe we all have what it takes to achieve our goals. But, we first need to be aware that we have a choice in the direction our lives are going to go, and then we have to know what it is we want so that we can make a plan, and make a decision to go after it. We need to commit to doing whatever is necessary. It won’t be easy — it’s going to demand hard work and sacrifices — but I know that it’ll be worth it.
Sometimes I get so very frustrated with the way Christianity is portrayed to the world. More often than not, I see a Christianity that isn’t anywhere close to the one Jesus modelled and taught us to live out. And this hurts the overall message.
Hypocrisy, legalism, shame, and condemnation are rampant. But is this how Jesus behaved? Did He worship in His Father’s house with His hands raised and eyes closed, and then go out to lunch with the Disciples and laugh about the Pharisees behind their backs? Did He condemn the sinners He met, like the woman at the well who was on her 5th man, or the tax collectors, or the woman who’d been caught in adultery? Did Jesus stand on the street-corners holding a sign that read, “Repent, or you’re all going to hell”?
The answer to all of the above is: NO.
Jesus was (and still is) gentle, kind, loving, patient. He convicts us of sin, but He never condemns us. He does say that the consequences of sin is death (eternal punishment), but also that all who believe in Him can be saved! He doesn’t preach this message with a sense of shame or condemnation, but with a soft plea spoken out of the depths of His love for all of us… not JUST Christians, but every single person on the planet.
I know so many people who have walked away from, or just flat-out rejected, Christianity, because they think…
• “If that’s what Christianity is all about, I want no part of it.” • “If being a Christian means I have to be like so-and-so, no thanks.” • “Being a Christian will mean I can’t have fun any more — so, forget it.”
But, they have seen this “false” pseudo-Christianity, not the real thing. They have no idea how good it can really be. It’s not all about giving up the good times, or walking around all uptight, or about acting all better-than-thou, or converting everyone you see.
It’s about a friendship with Jesus… a man who was so compelling that people couldn’t help but be drawn to Him… the only One who will never, ever hurt or betray you… the only “friend” who can offer the deepest satisfaction and sense of peace.
I loved this article, written by Abby Johnson. She’s talking about the latest news regarding abortion doctor, Kermit Gosnell, but she gives a very good picture of the difference between the false, “pious” Christianity, and the REAL, grace-full Christianity that I’m talking about.
A blog post from Abby’s blog {read the full post here} had this little paragraph tucked inside it, and it, too, says what I’m trying to say — shows the difference:
{…“Well, one of our [church] members took her to the Target Café to share the Gospel with her.” So, no material assistance was offered for her or her baby? No resources offered for where she could receive assistance? No phone calls made to maternity homes or pro-life groups in the area? “No,” the woman responded. “Just the meeting at Target to talk about the Lord.”
Well, isn’t that fantastic. I’m sure the Gospel will find her a hospital to deliver her baby in. I’m sure the Gospel will help her with food to nourish her body during the last few weeks of her pregnancy. I’m sure the Gospel will help keep her safe from harm as she sleeps outside night after night. Their answer made me disgusted. How can we expect to nourish someone spiritually when their physical needs aren’t met? How can we expect someone to be receptive to the Gospel when they go physically hungry during the day? How can we expect someone to believe in the mighty power of Christ when they don’t know if they will be forced to deliver their baby in an alley somewhere? This is Christianity? This is how we treat those in need of help? Certainly not. That is not what faith is about. James clearly states that “faith without works is dead.” What is faith if we are not willing to step out of our comfort zone and get our hands dirty in service to Christ? We are called to be the “hands and feet of Christ,” right? That means service to those who need him…not just words…actions.}
Precisely. The REAL Christianity is one of compassion and love. It is actions and service. It is modelling Jesus’ actions and love to a hurting world around us. NOT condemnation. NOT shame. NOT ignoring needs because it makes you uncomfortable.
Ugh.
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For further reading, check out Acts 2. This is the story of the first community of Christian believers.
